So, you're having a baby. Congratulations! You're apparently about to enter into one of the most rewarding experiences anyone will ever have, according to people on Facebook who have kids. There are lots of parenting advice manuals out there, so why listen to this one? Well, a friend recently said to me: "Yeah, well why don't you write a parenting book AHAHAHAHAHAHAH" and I'm pretty sure he was not kidding. So, as a special gift to him, I've crafted this very sound advice.