Have you all seen the Utah billboard for this questionable dating site? Mind boggling, amirite? Here's the only solution:
1. First, we'll look at this picture of delicious tacos because tacos make us feel at peace.
(Tacos. Photo: Me)
2. We'll create a very special rom-com concept inspired by the stupid site. Ready?
(Vince in a stock photo done as a promo gag for his movie Unfinished Business. Having watched Unfinished Business on the plane, we can say with some confidence the concept we outline in this blog post is funnier. Photo: iStock/Getty)
Cast:
- Vince Vaughn: Greg Elliott
- Kristen Bell: Elise Spencer
- Ed Helms: George Spencer
- Kerry Washington: Evelyn Grace
- Jack Black: Robbie Richards
Premise:
Greg is a washed up former male catalogue model looking to make some cash to make ends meet. Elise is an at-home mom looking to make a little of her own money. The two answer an add to be stock photography models.
A few months after the shoot, Greg gets in a fender bender with - GASP - a gorgeous and successful doctor - Evelyn! (That's right, this is their meet cute moment.) After some witty banter, the two exchange numbers and agree to go for dinner.
As Evelyn gets back in her car and heads down the highway, she spots - YOU GUESSED IT - a billboard promoting a super racist dating site featuring none other than the guy she just agreed to date! Greg! OMG! How can Greg possibly win her back?
Will Greg be able to convince the site's evil creator - Robbie Richards - to take down the billboards and print a retraction? Maybe not! Robbie is thrilled the billboards are getting him business and he won't take them down without a fight. Greg decides to use some unconventional methods to deface them. Wacky hijinx ensues.
Meanwhile, Elise's husband, George, is shocked to be hauled into his boss's office. His boss wants to console George, since he saw the billboard and assumes Elise left him and is finding new love with Greg on a really racist dating site. Because the boss feels badly for George, he offers him a promotion. George, unwilling to give up his sweet new gig, convinces Elise to stage a series of public arguments with him about their fictional "break-up" to keep up the ruse. Wacky hijinx ensues.
Sample Dialogue
Greg, on the phone, upon being confronted by Evelyn
"What billboard? That billboard? You think that looks like me? Maybe a little around the eyes. This guy's way more jowly than me though, right? I mean, you say you think I look like the guy on the herpes treatment billboard, I say yeah sure, but this one, nah, don't see it."
Greg holds hand over the phone, pretends to be conferring with his mother
"Hey mom, MOM, yeah people are saying I look like that guy in that racist dating ad. I know RIGHT? RIGHT! That's what I told them, herpes maybe but not that."
YOU ARE WELCOME, HOLLYWOOD!
